More than arrogance to Lee's downfall

I am here, believe it or not, to feel Chris Lee's pain.

I am serious.

I do not know the guy. But there has to be something going onwith his life, or in his psyche, for him to throw everything awayin a Craigslist pursuit of a hot date.

No night of sin is worth a career, a marriage and a reputation. Idon't care whom it's with. And, yes, this means you, Angelina Jolie.

When I heard that our pretty-boy congressman had been caught withhis shirt off and his morals down, I wondered: What combination of arrogance, entitlement, narcissism and sense of invulnerability made our buff-bodied representative -- fueled by lust and an illicit thrill -- believe he could step out of bounds and not get caught?

It seemed as if Lee had the perfect life: a rich, handsome congressman with an attractive wife, a young son, a rising career and a good reputation.

He threw it all -- or most of it -- away while lookin' for lovein all the wrong places.

Granted, the temptation is to label Lee as the latest in a long line of holier-than-thou, family-values Republicans who were caught with their libidos showing. He's just a hunka hunka burnin' hypocrite. Not that bad behavior doesn't cross party lines. From Democrats Bill Clinton, to self-righteous Eliot Spitzer to, locally, Assemblyman Sam Hoyt, philandering is clearly a bipartisan vice.

But when someone with this much going for him self-destructs thisspectacularly -- and this stupidly -- my sense is not to look to a political analyst for answers. It's to ask a psychologist.

Carol Munschauer has spent two decades helping successful people who committed Lee-caliber screw-ups. The Amherst psychologist told me that the easy explanations for bad behavior -- arrogance, entitlement, sense of superiority -- almost always do not apply. In other words, Lee's flirtatious folly is about more than a powerful guy thinking he can screw around and get away with it.

Munschauer does not know Lee. But she said that, in general, high-functioning people who put their worlds at risk are usually "trying to meet a human need that they are not aware of. People who feel an internal sense of power do not take these chances."

I do not want to get all pop-psychology sappy. But Lee is notdumb. The easily traceable Internet trail he left -- incredibly, heused his real name in the ad -- screams that reasons for hisbehavior go beyond an arrogance of power or Washington's culture ofprivilege.

Fallen politicians and sports stars get the headlines, but Munschauer sees the same symptoms -- drinking, gambling, screwing around -- of a deeper problem in everyone from CEOs to college professors to corporate attorneys. This guy just happens to be a congressman.

She sees the implosions especially in people who -- for most of their lives -- were praised for performance, not personality; for what they did, not for who they are. Fill in the blank: Tiger Woods. Or, maybe, Chris Lee.

"There can be a need for affirmation that often gets sexualized, with one-on-one contact that really has no deeper meaning," Munschauer said. "You see impulsive behavior, and the people do not know why they are doing it. Later, they feel shame and regret about having ruined everything."

Even as you read this, Lee is devolving into obscurity -- his political power gone, his family damaged and his reputation shredded. The way I see it, his next move is to try to repair his marriage and -- probably before that can happen -- answer the burning question: Why?

As much as we might think so, I don't believe we know the answer.

Neither, I think, does Chris Lee.

e-mail: desmonde@buffnews.com